Carter's Undoing (To Marry a Madden Book 4) Page 2

  “Great!” My smile filled my entire face, but I didn’t care. His brothers seemed cool, but he was the only one I actually wanted to spend time with. The only one who I’d thought about drawing with and talking to ever since I first saw the Madden triplets outside of my window.

  Just like I’d imagined, talking to him was easy. It didn’t matter that he was a boy or that I was a girl or that we’d just met. We seemed to have so much to talk about. So much to share. Even more in common than I ever could have imagined. I didn’t know too many kids my age who would rather talk about the President Clinton and Monica Lewinsky scandal more than Brandy and Monica’s “The Boy is Mine” music video premiere.

  An hour later, I was just about to stand and get us some more chalk, when his words made me sit back on the sidewalk. “I did, by the way,” he said, clearing his throat.

  I looked to Carter, confused by his words. “You did what?”

  “I asked Kat if she knew who you were,” he explained. “We live a couple blocks down, but we always pass your house, and sometimes, I see you playing outside and drawing on the sidewalk.”

  “So you came down my block for the chalk, huh?” I teased, giggling at how we’d gone from strangers to friends so quickly.

  “I came for you, Serenity,” he said, causing me to stop laughing. “I came for you.”

  When I looked at him, he was so serious, I didn’t know what to say. So I decided to be as honest as I could. “I’ve been hoping I got a chance to meet you, too, so I’m glad you did.”

  His lopsided grin made me smile right back. “Friends?” he asked, reaching out his chalk-covered hand.

  I nodded and told him, “Friends.” However, when my hand touched his, that inner squeal I’d been holding in grew even louder. We were too young to date. Too young to do a lot of things. However, he was already my first guy friend and the first person to ever draw with me on the sidewalk. He was the first person who seemed to understand what I meant without me having to over explain myself. He was my first crush and had been since before we talked today.

  Yet, I knew looking at this boy that whatever kind of friendship we were agreeing to have, it was going to be special. The once in a lifetime kind.

  Two

  CARTER

  Unidentifiable.

  The first time I ever really paid attention to that word, I was on my first mission with the military and we’d been ambushed in Iraq. I remember looking all around, shocked by the scene before me. The men who’d lost their lives within seconds, their faces almost unrecognizable.

  Every day I fought in those earlier years I thought, Today may be the day. Today may be the day that I lose my life. Who would find my body if something happened? Would it be a soldier I knew or a soldier I didn’t? Would it be my enemy? Would it be someone who stepped over my body without a care of who I was or where I was from?

  Would I be unidentifiable? Like the distorted face of the first dead man I’d ever seen. He hadn’t been a soldier, but was still a causality of war. I’d wondered if he was a father? A brother? A husband? A boyfriend? The only thing I’d known for sure was that he’d been someone’s son.

  Death.

  I thought about death a lot. Every soldier that I knew in the army had thought about death at one point in time, but I’d never really thought about a man dying at the cause of my own hands. But that was the thing about war. When you were fighting for your country, you didn’t get to take a second and see if you could talk some sense into your enemy. In the front line of duty, you had to be focused. Your vision clear on your mission. With my hands on a gun, I had to block out any and everything. Our enemies weren’t people. They couldn’t be. I couldn’t wonder if they had families or loved ones. I couldn’t think about what they’d had for breakfast that morning or what they would be doing if the current war wasn’t going on.

  Contrary to what the news shared with the public, there was always a war going on. Always someone we had to fight. A mission to be won or lost. A person to be killed or captured. If I allowed my brain to treat even one enemy like a human being, I couldn’t do my job. And if killing people who my nation had deemed the enemy meant my loved ones were safer for it, I had to destroy the lives of those people. Innocent people, maybe. And what did that make me?

  Monster.

  That’s how Serenity Taylor looked at me. The woman who used to look at me as if I held the happiness to her future, now only saw me as a monster. It wasn’t because of the scar on my face, but rather, the fact that she was understanding I wasn’t the man she once knew. I’d done terrible shit. Fucked up things that I wasn’t proud of. Yet, standing there as her beautiful, dark-honey eyes widened in utter shock at the Carter that stood before her was the hardest thing I’d done in a while.

  Her eyes were filled with hurt, disgust, misunderstanding, and tears that she refused to let fall. Proof that whatever love she’d had for me, she buried deep when she realized I was never returning to her. Instead, that love had been replaced with animosity and reeked of disappointment.

  I could take any hate because at least it was a strong emotion toward me, but I couldn’t take the disappointment I saw in her eyes. To have the one person who used to understand you better than you knew yourself look at you as if you’d failed her in every way possible was a tough pill to swallow.

  My Serenity. My sweet Serenity who’d always worn her heart on her sleeve. She’d always been mine since before I’d even learned what her name was. Didn’t matter that we were kids back then. Or that there were people in the neighborhood who thought we were too young to be so serious about each other.

  Hell, I hadn’t even known what it felt like to have a crush on a girl until I laid eyes on her. And fuck, was she still as breathtaking as ever. When I left home, we were still practically kids. We hadn’t even been eighteen for long. Legal to smoke, but still too young to drink. She’d been beautiful back then, but adult Serenity was fucking gorgeous.

  When I first saw her decades ago, I hadn’t even known how to talk to her. Had my brothers not been there, I’m not sure I ever would have found my words. If I looked close enough now, it seemed not even the slightest sliver of her could see that kid she started calling golden boy just to piss me off. Although she never admitted she was the one who started that and claimed the neighborhood already called me it, I knew it had been her. She’d always seen me as a much better man than I was, and because she had, others started seeing me that way, too.

  She stepped closer once more, and for a millisecond I thought I saw the disappointment briefly leave her eyes, replaced by something I couldn’t quite make out. However, before I could study her more, Caden stepped in between us. “Take her back downstairs.”

  Serenity didn’t say a word as she was gently led out of the bedroom. My eyes stayed on that hallway until Caden spoke to me.

  “That woman who just led Serenity out of the bedroom was your sister-in-law, Avery, in case you’re wondering,” Caden stated, anger still dripping from his voice. “I figured the confused expression on your face meant you couldn’t figure out who the fuck she was.”

  I knew who Avery was. I knew a lot of shit, but Caden didn’t give a damn. I couldn’t blame him. He didn’t know me, not anymore. He used to look just like me though. Even more so than Crayson, me and Caden used to look so much alike, it was hard to tell us apart. Looking at him now, you’d never know that. He hadn’t changed. Cowboy hat and all, that was always Caden. He’d only gotten older. I was the one who was different. Skin hardened, darker even. Internal and external scars too deep to ever go away.

  There was one thing that hadn’t changed between us, though. We were still connected as brothers. As triplets. I wouldn’t have thought that part of us would be the same until this very moment, but I was glad I felt it because right now, I needed Caden to understand.

  Empathy.

  That was what I needed from him right now. As hard as it was to require something from my brother who I had dismissed and hurt more
than the others, I needed his compassion for the situation right now. And who more compassionate than Caden?

  “The others can’t know about this yet,” I told him.

  “There’s no way in hell I’m keeping the fact that you’ve come home from them,” he said.

  “Not that,” I clarified. “I’m aware that Avery being involved is unfortunate, but she isn’t my concern.”

  “If your sister-in-law witnessing the only words you had to say to the love of your life being confusing as shit, then yeah, it’s a shame Avery had to witness that.”

  I crossed my arms in front of me, and he did the same, the standoff feeling familiar and somewhat comforting since we’d done a similar stare down when we were kids. Caden used to be my best friend. Besides Serenity, he knew me more than anyone. Which was why I knew he was the right person to go to. The first key to help me keep her safe.

  I didn’t know if it was brother’s intuition, or that after years of training myself to feel unaffected, one look at Serenity was already fucking with me, but I wasn’t surprised when Caden asked, “What kind of trouble is it?”

  “The life or death kind,” I replied without hesitation. “I don’t have time to explain, but my enemies are after Serenity, and the less anyone knows about the situation the better. That’s why you can’t call the others over here yet.”

  “Why would any of your enemies be after Serenity?”

  I sighed. For the first time in years, I didn’t do a slow exhale in the comfort of my solidarity. I actually sighed in front of my brother, figuring he wouldn’t take it as a sign of defeat like some would, but rather, me just gathering my thoughts. “They are after her because I have done some shit I’m not proud of. Too much crap to explain to you tonight. I owe you answers. I owe the family answers. I owe Serenity the most answers of all. But, Caden, this is serious.”

  It was the most I’d talked to another person in a while. I wasn’t sure I liked it. It made me feel … normal. And I couldn’t afford normal right now.

  “So what are you asking me to do exactly?”

  I studied his eyes, grateful that he really seemed to comprehend the enormity of the situation. Still, he hadn’t seen me in so long. What reason did he have to trust me? “I need you to tell Malik and Micah everything I’m about to tell you once I leave. With Malik being a private investigator and Micah owning a security firm, they’ll be able to make sure the family is okay.”

  I went under Caden’s bed and pulled out my bag containing some burner phones and handed them to him. “I spoke to Malik and Micah a couple months ago and said it may come to this. Give them these phones so we can communicate.”

  His eyes widened. “You talked to them?”

  “Yes.”

  “So it’s not just Serenity, but the entire family who’s at jeopardy because of some crap you did?”

  “Caden, I don’t have time to give you some long ass apology or convince you to do what your heart is already telling you that you need to do. I also won’t let you get in my fucking way if it comes to that. You know I wouldn’t be here if shit wasn’t serious.”

  He squinted, observing me like he was trying to decide if I was full of bullshit and should push me on it. “Why didn’t you creep up on Malik and Micah then? Or meet with all of us together about whatever the fuck you’ve gotten yourself into?”

  “Because there is only one part they wouldn’t agree with.” I stepped closer to him, my voice clear. “In order to protect Serenity, I’m taking her with me. I can protect her better in my home than anyplace else.”

  “Are you crazy?” Caden asked. “We don’t even know where you live. Hell, we don’t know shit about you anymore.”

  “You are aware of some things about me,” I reminded him, my tone direct because Caden knew more than he was letting on. “Out of everyone, you know the most.”

  Caden pinched the bridge of his nose. “Even if that’s true, you just expect Serenity to willingly go with you to your home? Did you forget she just slapped the shit outta you?”

  “She’s out like a light now,” Avery said, coming back to the bedroom. “Come on, and follow me to the living room.” I followed her downstairs with Caden right on my heels. He was saying something, but I wasn’t listening.

  “So it worked?” I asked Avery.

  She nodded. “Yes. The tea worked.”

  “What tea?” Caden asked.

  “A tea to make her sleep,” I explained.

  “What the fuck?” Caden looked from me to Avery. “And why are y’all talking like you know each other?”

  “We do,” Avery stated sheepishly as she looked to Caden. “I never talk about it, but my father worked for the CIA for a while. He said he met Carter before he retired. I only just met Carter a couple months ago though.”

  Caden’s eyes darted to the ceiling like he was putting together a couple missing pieces to the puzzle. “Did you meet him when you went home to tell your parents you were pregnant?”

  Avery nodded. “Yes, that was the time. I had no idea he was going to be there until I got to my parents’ house.”

  Caden looked to me, his eyes full of confusion. “We know you’re in the military, but you telling me you work for the CIA, too?”

  I shook my head. “I don’t.”

  “Did you used to?” he asked.

  “I didn’t.”

  “Then how do you know Avery’s father?”

  “It’s best if you don’t know.”

  Caden tossed up his hands in frustration. “I feel like I’ve entered the twilight zone. My brother is back from the grave. My sister-in-law just drugged one of her best friends. And that same brother is asking me to turn the other way and let him kidnap my friend and then tell the rest of our family what’s going on after what? After Avery and I show back up to Crayson’s wedding reception minus Serenity? You can’t be serious.”

  “I am serious,” I told him before turning back to Avery. “You need to talk to Malakai as you promised your father.”

  She nodded. “I will. He’s my husband, so I have to.”

  “Hopefully he’s not too hard on you for keeping meeting me a secret.”

  “He’ll get over it. I’m pregnant and he’s stuck with me.” She rubbed her belly. “Besides, my father never talks about certain parts of his life, but after he introduced us, I knew you earned his respect some kind of way. He agreed that this was best. I just hope you’re careful and know what you’re doing. Serenity is one of my best friends.”

  “I’ll protect her with my life.”

  She smiled. “I know you will.”

  We both turned to Caden, and truthfully, there was so much more I wanted to tell him, but I couldn’t figure out why. I wasn’t the sharing type. Hadn’t been in years. And there was a storm brewing for me. One that they wouldn’t understand.

  Doing something I hadn’t planned on doing, I walked over to Caden and placed my arm on his shoulder. One look at him and I knew he was going to let me take her against his better judgement. Caden had always been loyal to a fault, and it brought me some comfort to see that he wanted to be loyal to me after everything I put him through.

  “I’m having a hard time understanding all this,” he admitted. “But my gut is telling me to trust you. Damn, I hope this doesn’t come back to bite me in the ass. And I still don’t get why your enemies would be after Serenity more so than the rest of our family.”

  I glanced at Serenity on the couch, her soft snores soothing me like it was my first time hearing my favorite song in years. “They’re after her because even a ghost can’t change his deepest weakness.”

  Three

  SERENITY

  Burning wood and chili. It was what I smelled before I was able to pull my eyes open. My eyelids felt so heavy and my lower back was hurting, although I had no idea why.

  I must have had too much to drink at Crayson and Jordyn’s wedding reception. Even worse, I dreamt about Carter. Again.

  Yet, this dream was different tha
n the others. Instead of the Carter I remembered and always envisioned, I dreamt up a darker, more dangerous-looking man who barely resembled my golden boy. His dark brown eyes had seemed almost black, like the color of charcoal. Gone was the head full of curly hair he used to have, and instead of shapely arms, his in my dream had been huge, powerful, and thick just like his raspy voice.

  Open your eyes, I silently coaxed, my mouth too dry to say the words aloud. Slowly, I popped one eye open, my eyes widening even more when I noticed brown fabric in my line of vision. Lifting my head, I studied the brown couch that didn’t look familiar to me at all. My eyes made their way down my body, and I noticed that I was still wearing my bridesmaid’s dress.

  Where am I? I wasn’t familiar with a lot of Caden’s property, but it didn’t feel like one of his villas on the ranch to me. There was a light on somewhere in the room, but it was dark near where I was. Unfortunately, that wasn’t all I noticed. My wrists were handcuffed together and connected to the side rail of the couch in a way that made it hard for me to move my arms. And the palm of my hands ached so terribly, it felt like I’d been squeezing tiny shards of glass.

  My first instinct was to scream or try and shake my wrists free, but I remained still and lowered my head back down to where it had originally been. I needed to think, and if I was in a place I didn’t know with someone who had handcuffed me to the couch and thoughts too fuzzy to decipher at the moment, acting hysterically wouldn’t help me.

  Taking a deep breath, I tried my best to angle my head over my left shoulder. I could tell someone was in the room with me, feel someone nearby, but I couldn’t turn my head completely around to see the darkened corner. Wasn’t even sure I wanted to.

  It was so quiet in the room, I could hear myself breathing, which meant if I could hear myself, someone else could, too. Get it together. Figure this out, I encouraged, turning my head a little more and scooting upward so that I was able to see farther over my shoulder. My eyes reached the nearby chair first. It was the same brown fabric as the couch and similar in color to the coffee table that was clear of any magazines or remotes for a television. Items I would expect to see on a coffee table.